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driftless


Have I worn enough clothes
to go naked?
Have I told enough lies
to see some truth?

Round hill, round sky
Round breast, round thigh
I’m going driftless

I have a Greg Brown earwom and I can’t sleep.

It’s Mulvey’s fault, of course. He quoted this song in a track on his new record, and the rest of it sprung whole into my brain about an hour ago. It was 3 am almost exactly.

Tonight I am the opposite of driftless.

I’m on a 5-day streak of a new meditation practice. This morning I felt like I might be making some progress, but this afternoon my mind fought back. I spent 2 hours on the clock editing the trailer for prism, and found it almost impossible to focus on it. My mind was the Audubon and I kept hitching rides up and back at 200 miles an hour. From this to that and back again, too fast to follow anything, to ground myself in the thought. This morning I did ok noticing my brain going off and stepping back out of the traffic. I felt like I was getting somewhere. This afternoon felt like a steroid rebound. I had no control over my brain.

I had to take a break and do something else, I took a walk and then did some billing and scheduling. Sent emails. Came back for another hour on the trailer and was only moderately better. I gave up. Came home. 

Now I’m wide awake at 3 am and this phrase is repeating. 
In perfect earworm style, it’s only half the phrase. No resolution  

Will you visit me in my place of peace?

I don’t know how to get to driftless.
But I will keep trying.